Congrats to Lily, who won the copy of Mobry’s Dick by K.Z. Snow, which is being released today from Loose Id. (Congrats, K.Z.!)

• It’s been ages since I did a random update on my life and stray thoughts.

• When last we spoke, I was worried whether the new refrigerator would arrive before the old refrigerator died.

• It did!

• The new refrigerator was delivered on April 29 by two guys who were unnaturally cheerful about carrying refrigerators up and down three flights of stairs at 7:30 am.

• The new refrigerator is more spacious despite being smaller (I know!) and is quieter.

• The kitties remain deeply suspicious of it.

• On Saturday, I finally wandered over to the hardware store and picked up a patch for the screen.

• There shall be no more bats!

• I’m sure the kitties are sad about that.

• Knitting? Um, what? Ok, fine. I’m nearly done with the foot of the second of my SIL’s birthday socks.

• Yes, her birthday was two months ago.

• Give me a break – it’s nearly 80F, so she’s not going to be wearing wool socks for months!

• Sheesh.

• I’m trying to figure out what the three sickly trees in front of our building are.

• I know that they are not ashes, elms, oaks, maples, boxelders, lindens, any sort of evergreen, sycamores, gingkos, hophornbeams, cottonwoods, or aspens.

• You’d think I’d get a bit further than that with a forestry degree, wouldn’t you?

• Quit laughing, Mel. (We have the same undergraduate degree.)

• Hmm. Apparently I’ll be leaving both cat carriers portable kitty caves out for a while. I hate to discourage this sort of behavior:

*….zzzzzz….* -Mayhem

*….zzzzzz….* -Chaos

I knew something was up when May got on top of a cupboard and started chittering at the corner behind the microwave. Then Chaos got on top of the microwave, leapt at the corner, and fell behind the microwave stand.

Oh oh. I don’t remember there being a tarry blob up in the corner like that…

Oh oh. That’s not a tarry blob at all…

It’s a bat!

Remember back in January of 2009 when a squirrel ripped a hole in my kitchen screen? I haven’t been able to figure out how to get the @!*#)@(*!! screen out to take it in for repair. And, since the kitties were taking care of any bugs that wandered through the hole, I haven’t been that concerned about that hole.

Until now. I’m going to get some thread and darn that hole so nothing larger than a bug can get in.

Anyway, back to the excitement. I sat down with my laptop and panicked via email to some people. (Many thanks to the calming online presences of Carolyn Crane, Bronwyn Green, Tam, and Lily, and to Jeanne who laughed her head off on the phone after everything was over.) Then I googled an article about how to get a bat out of your house.

Based on that information, I locked the kitties in the bathroom and closed my bedroom door. Armed with leather gloves and a towel, I put the towel over the bat and attempted to wrap him up. He got away and started to fly around as I hit the floor shrieking. When I looked up again, he wasn’t flying anymore and I didn’t know where he was.

*whimper*

By the time I figured out that the bat was in the ficus, he had taken off and started flying laps again. I crouched on the floor, trying to keep an eye on him in the living room mirror. Finally he hit the living room window and landed on the air conditioner, where I was able to drop the towel over him. (I’m glad that the article I read about removing bats warned me that he would squeak and chitter!!) Took the towel outside, tossed it on the step, and off he flew.

Whew!

“My eyes are locked and loaded, just in case!” -Chaos

“Mom, that bug was really big and cool! You were mean to take it away.” -Mayhem

• Belated congratulations to Mitzi, Jennifer, Deedles, Jane C., and Nicole C., who all won copies of Susan Crandall’s Sleep No More!

• If you have suggestions for authors you’d like to see me contact for contests, please leave a comment!

• Um, no, it’s very unlikely that Neil Gaiman, Nora Roberts, or Stephen King will respond.

• I’m most interested in featuring authors who have a bit less reach (for now!) and who will interact with us in the comments.

• Yup, Wren, Mia, Bronwyn, Dakota, Brynn, and Devyn have set the bar pretty high there.

• I do promise to shamelessly exploit my friendship with Carolyn Crane when her book comes out. *shoots meaningful glance at CJ*

• I’m glad so many of you are enjoying the Misadventures in Stock Photography series!

• For my evil day job (EDJ), I work as a systems analyst and spend a lot of time looking for patterns in data.

• Turns out that looking for overused stock photos? Just more patterns.

• *has Simon & Garfunkel moment* (link is to last.fm)

• For the record? Looking for overused stock photos is a lot more amusing than what I do at the EDJ.

• On Friday, I hooked up my tv and dvd player for the first time since starting the Great IKEA Living Room Redesign last January.

• Probably I should admit that I’m not sending any more holiday cards for the 2009 holiday season and put all of that stuff away until next winter, huh?

• I had a sinus-triggered migraine last Wednesday, so I took a shot (mmm… sumatr1ptan), napped for a few hours with the kitties, and woke up feeling great.

• The kitties were very happy because they don’t get to sleep with me at night – there’s really only so many times I can handle having Chaos walk across my head at 2 am because he wants breakfast.

• Anyway, ever since then, each evening when I go in to my bedroom to sleep, Mayhem’s sitting expectantly on my bed.

• Sorry, May. Out you go.

• Although she doesn’t walk across my head while I sleep, she does cover me with her furry toy mice, apparently bringing mouse after mouse, hoping to find the magical mouse that will inspire me to wake up and play fetch with her.

• Shhhh… sleeping princess alert….

• Awww.

I’ve lived with the bungee cords on the closets for years – ever since Chaos figured out how get the sliding doors open.

Bungee cords are quick and easy to fasten and unfasten, so it wasn’t a big deal.

Over the weekend, Chaos taught himself how to open cupboards, to ill effect (from my perspective, at least). Escalation was required.

“I really don’t like the look of that.” -Chaos

“I really don’t like the look of that, either.” -Chaos

*applies cupboard opening technique*

“Why do you hate me, Mom?” -Chaos

Sadly, cabinet locks are not quite as quick and easy to use as bungee cords.

Please forgive the odd colors in most of these pictures – the lighting in my kitchen continually defeats my poor camera!

• Just to be clear, I haven’t read (and don’t even own) the vast majority of books featured in my Misadventures in Stock Photography series. From Part the Fourth yesterday, I’ve only read the story of the tragic fire.

• Did everyone have a good holiday?

• My Christmas Eve looked a bit dicey at first, since we got a foot of snow from December 23 through 24!

• My car is rear-wheel drive (i.e., handles poorly in snow, even with 120 pounds of sand and 40 pounds of kitty litter in the trunk) and is only about three inches off the ground.

• Did I mention that we got a foot of snow?

• And that Minneapolis was mostly just plowing major streets until the snow finished?

• And that I don’t live on a major street; I park my car in a parking lot off of a narrow neglected alley?

• Oh oh.

• But! My brother to the rescue! He picked me up in his big ol’ four-wheel drive pickup and saved Christmas.

• Whew!

• When my brother dropped me off at home on the morning of the 25th, the snow had changed to rain.

• I’m sure driving got really exciting at that point.

• I wouldn’t know, since I hunkered down in my condo and didn’t go anywhere else all weekend.

• When I drove to work Monday morning, my car looked more like a small portable snow bank than a vehicle.

• As I got home from work Monday evening, two guys left our building.

• They were carrying a bathtub…

• …which had been sawed in half.

• *blink blink*

• Remember those threats Chaos was making last week? And how tired he was yesterday?

• I woke up a few days ago to find that a three-pack of eight-ounce aseptically packaged soymilk, which I’d left sitting on the counter (not for the first time) had been gnawed open (each package) and dragged around.

• There was soymilk every flippin’ where.

• ARGH!

• Bad kitty.

“I’ll give you one chance to recant that ‘bad kitty’ business, Mom.” -Chaos