Misadventures in Stock Photography (Part the Fourth, being an update on our friends from Parts 1-3)

So I’ve discovered that once you start looking for overused stock photography, it’s a bit like falling down the rabbit hole… Shall we start with our old friend Slouching Guy? Here he is… with long hair, which looks so very natural, don’t you think? *snort*

We’ll be revisiting the other guy in the picture (Open Black Jacket Guy) in a future installment of this series. [Edited: They are the same person! Slouching Open Black Jacket Guy as his own twin?!]

Moving right along, let’s see what Shoulder Guy’s been doing.

I’m not even going to try to guess.

Weirdly, the next book involves a chocolate bodysuit somehow (I didn’t really want to know more on this one, either).

Hey, check out the advanced photoshopping technique below. Shoulder Guy, no longer floating alone in space and chocolate.

Finally, let’s see how Candy Cane Guy’s been keeping busy… Guess he took up vampire hunting. (Nice, um, stake.)

That must not have gone so well for him, based on the next cover. I had not idea that becoming a vampire with sloppy eating habits caused your hair to grow!

Unfortunate, that. Even the other cover model looks horrified.

Somehow he got his blood lust under control and got a haircut.


Then, um, he took up macrame.

But was forced to flee offworld due to a crafting misunderstanding.

When he finally returned, he went on vacation and his trademark jeans were lost in a tragic fire! O noes!

He was forced to get a job at a moving company so he could afford new jeans.

The end. I hope. (Although you’ll be seeing Looking Down Guy from the cover above again, too.)

Taking revenge can be exhausting….. zzzzzzzz….” -Chaos

29 thoughts on “Misadventures in Stock Photography (Part the Fourth, being an update on our friends from Parts 1-3)”

  1. well. while some of the covers are cheesy (why add hair? who’s proofing these covers? leave well enough alone), i don’t know if i would notice the overuse of stock images if not for you pointing it out. I mean, jeans guy is smokin’. I do not mind seeing him over and over. I’m glad he survived the tragic fire and was able to buy more jeans though.

  2. I like that Lynn Lorenz cover – just call me sexist…

    I swear you are a pimp with these covers – I am picking up so much books when I come over here….

    Shame on you!!!!!


  3. ROTFL at candy cane guy and his stake! Not only did the one cover grow his hair, they turned it blond. And is it just me or does open jacket slouching guy look like shirtless slouching guy in a jacket?

  4. Do you think these book covers are on their modeling resume? “Oh yes.. I did a few print ads and I’m also “Slouching guy” from the cover of romance novels”…

  5. Sydney beat me to it. I’m positive that Slouching Guy and Jacket Guy are either the same guy or related.

    And . . . *STILL* no sock photography. Man. Chaos is right. You are a meanie. πŸ˜‰

  6. Oh, this was hilarious! A friend told me about this entry and I had to go find all the original entries. I adore your tales of the tribulations of cover models. This made me laugh when I really needed it. And it shows me why I always beg my publisher to not have “naked male chest only” covers. Please, give me something a little unique? Pretty please? Mostly I’ve lucked out. But then I go and see “my” cover guy in different positions on other people’s covers and I get all jealous. These fellows are so fickle!

  7. I cannot believe how much both of these guys are being used! Are there *no* other six-pack-wielding guys in stock photography these days, lol? I bet both models are wishing they were getting royalties! πŸ˜‰

  8. I just scared four cats off the couch because I was laughing so hard when I got to the part where he was forced to flee off world due to a crafting misunderstanding. Well done, Chris. Well done!!!

  9. OMG, I’m howling over here! Poor candycane dude.

    Part of the reason I find this so funny, is that the books in the antho I told you about are kinda bad like that too. No shit. Mine looks like someone is cupping his gangrenous balls, Bron’s looks like he has an unfortunate downturn in his *parts*. πŸ™‚
    .-= Mia Watts´s last blog ..Happy New Year =-.

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