I knew something was up when May got on top of a cupboard and started chittering at the corner behind the microwave. Then Chaos got on top of the microwave, leapt at the corner, and fell behind the microwave stand.
Oh oh. I don’t remember there being a tarry blob up in the corner like that…
Oh oh. That’s not a tarry blob at all…
It’s a bat!
Remember back in January of 2009 when a squirrel ripped a hole in my kitchen screen? I haven’t been able to figure out how to get the @!*#)@(*!! screen out to take it in for repair. And, since the kitties were taking care of any bugs that wandered through the hole, I haven’t been that concerned about that hole.
Until now. I’m going to get some thread and darn that hole so nothing larger than a bug can get in.
Anyway, back to the excitement. I sat down with my laptop and panicked via email to some people. (Many thanks to the calming online presences of Carolyn Crane, Bronwyn Green, Tam, and Lily, and to Jeanne who laughed her head off on the phone after everything was over.) Then I googled an article about how to get a bat out of your house.
Based on that information, I locked the kitties in the bathroom and closed my bedroom door. Armed with leather gloves and a towel, I put the towel over the bat and attempted to wrap him up. He got away and started to fly around as I hit the floor shrieking. When I looked up again, he wasn’t flying anymore and I didn’t know where he was.
*whimper*
By the time I figured out that the bat was in the ficus, he had taken off and started flying laps again. I crouched on the floor, trying to keep an eye on him in the living room mirror. Finally he hit the living room window and landed on the air conditioner, where I was able to drop the towel over him. (I’m glad that the article I read about removing bats warned me that he would squeak and chitter!!) Took the towel outside, tossed it on the step, and off he flew.
Whew!
“My eyes are locked and loaded, just in case!” -Chaos
“Mom, that bug was really big and cool! You were mean to take it away.” -Mayhem
Wow, that’s quite the excitement! Sounds like you handled it well.
We had a real bat problem at one house in Madison, and one becomes an old pro at dealing with bats pretty quickly.
.-= Jodi´s last blog ..languish no longer, my pretties! =-.
I once had to remove a bat that had attached itself to my college dorm door decorations. Luckily, though, that was a flat surface, so I do what I normally do with bugs and just put a bowl over it, slid something under the open end, and then flung it outside. Clearly that wouldn’t have worked if the poor critter had opted for a corner of my room instead! I’m glad you were successful in ousting it!
.-= sprite´s last blog ..a saturday double feature =-.
Yikes!! I always feel sorry for bats that get caught inside, but they still creep me out a bit. I hope you’ve got that hole covered up now!
.-= Bethany´s last blog ..New Ways =-.
Eeek! I always know it’s time to break out the mouse traps when my cats line up in front of the stove, all peering suspiciously underneath. Fortunately I haven’t had to deal with anything larger than mice, let alone flying! Great job catching it and getting it out of the house!
I’m thinking of Ninja Chris and her lightning bat-catching reflexes
.-= mrspao´s last blog ..In the door =-.
What an exciting day for the cats! How long did it take them to wind down from that?
Or even of our own Batwoman!
(tee hee)
.-= mrspao´s last blog ..In the door =-.
If it is any consolation at all… I would have scrieked too!
Hope both you and the bat are ok
(though you might only be able to answer for the former) 
.-= Karen S´s last blog ..Temptation, ready, set… =-.
*rolls eyes at mrspao*
I’m pretty sure ninjas would do less girly shrieking…
We had a bat come down the fireplace flue once. Smokey hit it with a tennis racket for a home run.
.-= kmkat´s last blog ..Saturday chuckles. =-.
What is it about bats that bring out the girlie shriekers in us? I don’t shriek about anything else…
Maybe it’s the flying, swooping, potentially rabid mouse thing…
Being a property owner makes life so much more fun, donchathink? I cracked up when I read about you locking the “natural” predators in the bathroom;-D
.-= CindyCindy´s last blog ..Friday. It’s just that simple. =-.
OMG, he’s so cute in the photo! You handled it really well. Unfortunately, when that sort of thing happens out here in the desert near the Mexican border (one’s pets getting real interested in something on the wall or in the corner), it’s usually a huge bug of some sort like a nino de la tierra (DON’T Google this without being prepared for some shocking photos) or something even worse. I’ll take the bat any day.
.-= Val Kovalin´s last blog ..Where do authors fit in on reviewer blogs? =-.
Chris, you said “EEEEEK!!!”
Oh, God, you went ahead and Googled the photos, didn’t you?
.-= Val Kovalin´s last blog ..Where do authors fit in on reviewer blogs? =-.
I’m too scared, Val! My imagination’s way too good… eeep.
As beneficial as they are to our environment, I really hate when bats try to live with me.
That’s more excitement than you probably wanted, huh? Congrats on being intrepid and brave enough to get rid of the menace! (Whimpering but getting the job done does NOT take away from the bravery part. If anything, it enhances it.)
.-= –Deb´s last blog ..Rose =-.
OMIG!!! I would have totally freaked and called someone to come over immediately to take care of the bat! No way would I have gotten close to it. Congrats for taking charge and getting the bat out of the house. You are a braver woman than I.
And your bat situation illustrates why I love having pets. Just think how long that thing could have stayed hidden in the house if it weren’t for May and Chaos? It could have swooped you in the middle of the night while you were sleeping. EEEKKK!!!
.-= Ava March´s last blog ..Where The Princes’ Vacation Cruise Took a Turn for the Worse =-.
Sometime I’ll tell you about my parents and me trying to get a bat out of the house. It was kind of hilarious…
I’m not scared of bats, though I do tend to duck when they fly around.
Ah the drama. LOL Glad you got him out safely and hopefully he’ll find a better place to keep warm.
.-= Tam´s last blog ..Olympic Figure Skating Redux =-.
http://www.cdc.gov/rabies/bats/contact/capture.html
.-= Mel´s last blog ..What I Did on My Spring Break =-.
Poor lil bat. He was probably as scared as you were.
~snuggles~
You are my hero…seriously! I’d still be whimpering on the floor.
.-= margene´s last blog ..Spreading the News =-.
*runs away and hides*
Icky, icky!!!!
.-= blodeuedd´s last blog ..Award =-.
OK, that is HILARIOUS! Maybe not for you. Or at the time. I can only imagine what would happen here if a bat ever got in.
Cats are early warning systems…
.-= Brigitte´s last blog ..In Training, Part Deux =-.
ROFL! Chris, your bat story is awesome! I probably would have been chasing it with a broom and would’ve knocked myself out!
You know, if this were a PNR, you would have just tossed about the world’s sexiest vampire . . .
.-= Eyre´s last blog ..I Got an Award & I’m Sharing It! =-.
What a sweet little batty. I’m so sorry you were scared, though. Had it been a big hairy spider, I would have hidden in the bathroom with the cats.
OMG!!!!! I have no idea why I did this, but I googled nino de la tierra and they ARE the devil’s babies. (I’m so, so stupid, but I now know that I can never visit the southwest. Ever.)
ack!! glad it turned out ok though…
OMG!!!!! I have no idea why I did this, but I googled nino de la tierra and they ARE the devil’s babies. (I’m so, so stupid, but I now know that I can never visit the southwest. Ever.)
Ha, ha, aren’t they awful! They’re pretty harmless but you’d never know it to look at them. Rest easy if you live east of the Mississippi (they don’t get that far east).
.-= Val Kovalin´s last blog ..Where do authors fit in on reviewer blogs? =-.
Well, crap, Val, I live south of the Mississippi, which translates to west of it. O_o
Go Batgirl!
.-= Tracy´s last blog ..Book Giveaway! =-.
Wow.. I applaud you for taking matters into your own hands and removing the little sucker yourself. Admittedly, I’d have taken the kitties and myself into the bedroom.. locked us in and called animal control to remove it. Bravery is one thing.. rabies is entirely another! That said.. I do think bats are cute when they aren’t in my house.
LOL! At least once a year I get a bird in house because they’ll build a nest on the front porch and fly in when someone opens the door at night. I had a flying squirrel get into my apartment once. Now that was an adventure I would rather not repeat.
.-= Sydney´s last blog ..Cloudy With a Chance of Tornados =-.
I don’t like bats, but the poor thing was probably scared spitless!
Oh, my. At first I thought that the picture was of one of the cats which was trying to escape from having somehow gotten up into the space above your drop ceiling(you’ve got one of those, yeah?).
Glad you released it: bats are so kind as to take care of the bug population.
Scary, though, in the house, I am sure. Definitely weekend blog-worthy.
.-= trek´s last blog ..Missing the point =-.
So, your house is bug-free thanks to the bat? And now the house is bat free too. Double WIN!
Kitties make good critter detectors, I have found over the years….
.-= Carol´s last blog ..Pharmacy Roundup =-.
Is rabies an issue where you are ? or is it just ” EEEEEEK … BAT!!”
I’m impressed you did it yourself – I probably would have just moved out.
Kudos to Chaos and May for alerting you to the bat’s presence; they take care of their mommy!
Patti: But it would’ve been hard to use the bat as a selling point, beyond the “keeps insect population down” angle…
Oh wow – I’m glad it was over with both of you surviving!
A squirrel fell down our chimney once, about 10 years ago. The cats are still looking for it …
.-= Bridget´s last blog ..Greetings Earthlings! =-.
I didn’t laugh at you while I read this. I didn’t. Okay, maybe I laughed a little.
That poor bat. Good for you picking him up with a towel and not swatting him with a broom like my grandma would have done.
.-= AM Riley´s last blog ..Having a busy busy week. =-.
That’s some crazy and heart pounding excitement! A bit scary but kinda cool too. Glad you were able to safely get him out without you or the kitties being bitten.
OMG! We find a bat or two in the library every summer. I’m fine with that, but I don’ think I’d be fine with one in my house! You did a great job getting him out without hurting him.
.-= janna´s last blog ..Isn’t it odd… =-.
I’d run out of the house screaming if I found a bat hanging in the corner of my room. Unless it shifts into some hot man with a 6 pack. Then he can stay.
.-= katiebabs´s last blog ..WTFckery Or Not? You Decide =-.
We had nino de la tierra’s crawling out of cracks in the pavement after the big earthquake out here. Yick yick yick. Big fleshy ugly things with creepy crawly legs. Yeah, I’d take bats over that any day.
But bats do sometimes carry rabies and MIGHT be a man trying to bite your lily white throat, so I am sorry I laughed at you, Chris.
.-= AM Riley´s last blog ..Having a busy busy week. =-.
AM: If I have nightmares, I’m blaming you and Val! Nightmares of rabid men trying to bite my throat and nino de la tierras crawling on the walls… Eeeek!
OMG! A rare Sunday post in honor of the BAT!! LOL. Well, if your eyes turn red, the kitties go missed and you suddenly develop a taste for extra red sauce on your pizzas, we will know how it all started!
I’m very proud of you for handling that. You did great!
.-= Carolyn Crane´s last blog ..Me! At Last Bite…& what would YOU ask Charlaine Harris re: True Blood? =-.
Sorry I’m so late to offer condolences. *snicker* You deserve a medal. *snort* Were your leather gloves just winter wear, or something more nefarious?
.-= wren´s last blog ..Slices of Life – weekend activities =-.
“Nightmares of rabid men trying to bite my throat”
One woman’s nightmare is another woman’s dream… : P
.-= AM Riley´s last blog ..Having a busy busy week. =-.
CJ: And once again, thank you for your supportive emails during my time of trial.
AM: It’s only the rabid bit that I have trouble with!
I bow to you. You are so brave!!!
I’d have been screaming like a bat out of hell LOL.
k, trying not to laugh, but you will have to further let us in on how you got the bat out! Do you remember those old retro 70′s style woodstoves that looked like a mushroom lying top down? We had one at my gram’s, that 7-’s enameled orange. It seemed that every spring a bat or two would somehow find their way down the chimney, through the pipe and out the stove! (these stoves did not have closing doors, just a mesh chain type screen) My uncle (a hand full of years older than i ) would grab a tennis racket or fishing net and end up chasing the thing till he caught it or the cat’s got it. (oh, and black thread will work great at the screen. You almost will not even notice the repair. can you tell i have done this before!)
.-= turtle´s last blog ..da da da da da da today is my birthday! =-.
EEEK is right. It was bad enough when I read about it this morning but seeing the pictures, Yikes!!
Great job getting rid of the bat. You go, girl!!
@Val… I hate Google. Those things are ugly looking. Good thing I live in Florida, far away from them. Only have huge Palmetto bugs to worry about, oh and lots of different spiders.
.-= Lily´s last blog ..Rainbow Reviews… The Wish by Eden Winters and When the Jazzman Sings… by Karma Eastwick =-.
My sister used to live in a huge old farmhouse with sketchy sealing, way out in the wilds of PA. It was common for her to have flying squirrels taking up residence in the walls, among other things. When I visited, I stayed in the main bedroom, which had the ceiling removed to give it a loft and a cathedral ceiling.
One hot summer night, I hear this sound. It woke me up. Flapflapflapflapflapflap. Pause. Flapflapflapflapflapflap.
I get up, turn on the light (across the room)–nothing in there. Hmm. Turn off light. Get back into bed.
Flapflapflapflapflapflap. Pause. Flapflapflapflapflapflap.
I try to ignore it. The sound continues for a while. Then I hear:
Flapflapflapflapflapflapflapflapflapflapflap–PLOP
and I feel something drop right smack between my legs, covered only in a sheet.
I freak. But I don’t move. Can’t inhale. My mind is going, “OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGWHATISTHAT!!!!!”
No sound. No movement.
After a painfully long moment, I carefully pull the sheet taut, lift it slightly, and shimmy out from underneath, hoping I don’t dislodge whatever IT is.
I take two of the longest steps ever and turn on the light.
It’s a bat.
My sister came to the rescue and released it out the front door.
I slept downstairs on the couch the rest of the visit.
.-= Jeanne B.´s last blog ..Oh, Fer… =-.
You were super brave! I would’ve totally chickened out and tried getting someone else to do it.
.-= Anna Shah Hoque´s last blog ..Soo I’ve been away…plus =-.
A bat got into my place once in the middle of the night so I know how totally freaked you were! My boys (RIP) tried to catch it (which is why I woke up) but I did not want blood on my hands. I hid in my room until daybreak and called the City’s animal control (no help). Called my Mom for ideas and she called an exterminator who assured me he would remove the bat and release it.
I found it was too late though. My jumper, Elvis, cornered the bat behind a cupboard. When he jumped onto it, the bat was crushed. The poor thing was removed.
.-= Karen B.´s last blog ..We are everywhere! =-.
If there is one thing I hate it’s bats, rats, pigeon and other such stuff..
Other than the fact that it would “probably” burn your house down I would take a blow torch to it.. I know I am evil, I just hate those bloody things..
After much thought I think Mayhem would roll over for a rub if you had an intruder – how blaise is she…
Good for you Chaos – on the job..
E.H>
.-= Erotic Horizon´s last blog ..Monday Round Up: Slow and Steady I go…. =-.
Yikes!!
A mouse with wings spraying guano.. Such a great way to spend your Sunday.
Well I’m glad your bat removal plan worked and you got the little bugger out..
You stand guard Chaos!!
Better make that hole really small. They can get in surprisingly tiny openings. Ask me how I know…
We have lots of bats, being over the caves on the Miss. They eat the mosquitoes, so I like ‘em.
.-= Mary Lou´s last blog ..Lou Shoots Spring Shots =-.
Wow. That sounds like more excitement than a body can stand!
.-= Seanna Lea´s last blog ..oh, wii =-.
We got bats every so often when I was a kid – my Single Mother used to handle them with a tennis racket. In fact it is the only reason we owned a tennis racket.
I do worry that your bat may have been a vampire bat – but I haven’t read a single good vampire book where the hot vampire turns into a bat so maybe not.
Wow! That’s quite an adventure! You’re so brave chasing it with your towel.
And taking pictures of the thing too! I would’ve been shaking too hard, lol!
.-= ErotRomReader Janna´s last blog ..Mondays Hot Couple & Sexy, Smutty Scene =-.
OMG – your my hero. I would have so called someone in and paid through the nose for them to come get it out.
I am such a girl.
AM: We had nino de la tierra’s crawling out of cracks in the pavement after the big earthquake out here. Yick yick yick. Big fleshy ugly things with creepy crawly legs. Yeah, I’d take bats over that any day.
Lily: @Val… I hate Google. Those things are ugly looking. Good thing I live in Florida, far away from them. Only have huge Palmetto bugs to worry about, oh and lots of different spiders.
Oh, God, A.M., the earthquake would be bad right there without those things coming up right after it. The devil’s babies! I like that. And, Lily, you couldn’t resist Googling, could you? I never can. I regretted looking up “wolf spider” that a midwestern friend told me about, which we apparently don’t have in the west. But don’t those palmetto beetles look like gargantuan cockroaches? They might be about as bad, ha, ha!
.-= Val Kovalin´s last blog ..Where do authors fit in on reviewer blogs? =-.
Val: Palmetto bugs are GIANT FLYING COCKROACHES. *whimper*
I once found a nino de la tierra in the bathtub……while I was in it……taking a bubble bath. I let out a shriek and was out of that tub so fast. I guess I was pretty loud ’cause the neighbor came over to check on me a few moments later.
I think I would opt for the bat.
@ Chris – Whoa, they fly?
@ Eastofedn – in the bubble bath? Oh, that’s horrific. I would totally opt for the bat as well. The bat is definitely the lesser of the two evils.
.-= Val Kovalin´s last blog ..Where do authors fit in on reviewer blogs? =-.
Oh gosh.. Okay.. I am caught up now! I am sorry you had this experience honey!!! Ohgosh!!!!!
OK, no bats here. You are so brave!
.-= orannia´s last blog ..Peeking =-.
OH MY GOD – you are so brave. I would have had to call in the big guns to get rid of that. YIKES!
.-= mamatulip´s last blog ..Haphazardly comfortable =-.
You could have done what my mom did when we were kids and a bat flew down the chimney – lay on the floor screaming with a tennis racket over your face. To this day, the pinging of a racket means many things to me… *grin*
.-= JessaLu´s last blog ..Ten on Tuesday =-.
Oh what excitement! I personally LOVE bats. I want to put up bat houses in my backyard, but we don’t seem to have many bats in our little town. But having a bat in the house is a bit different, although I still think they are pretty cool. And they eat mosquitos.
I bet the kitties were very intrigued by their houseguest.
I read an article an a magazine that they are finding quite a few dead bats around those huge windmills up in canada. Come to find out they are hemmoraging internally from the drastic drop in air pressure surronding the area of the wind farms. I find that fascinating that a clean source of energy is having a bad effect on the ecosystem. I need to investigate it more though as it was just a quick little article.
.-= Rebekah´s last blog ..The Sushi Loop =-.
Lovely. Bats are perfectly acceptable outside, not in the house. I think you might want to use duct tape on that screen instead of thread.
And why why why did I google nino de la tierra? Nightmare city!
.-= Lorette´s last blog ..Sunbreak =-.
OMG…. I had that happen once, and I was not nearly as brave as you! (I called a neighbor to come and catch the durned thing). They are furry and creepy and not at all cool
We used to get bats in our third floor apartment when I was a kid. One night, of course when dad was out of town, one got in. My mom and I closed the bedroom doors and went into the living room to sleep. I can still see that little sucker, wings extended, crawling under the door to get us!! We ran shrieking into the night, and so did the bat – presumably. You are a very brave woman. I lose it at the sight of roaches, much les bats.
Aw, such a cutie! I’m glad you got it safely outside.
.-= naomi´s last blog ..eye candy friday =-.
Bats are cute. But even more importantly, bats EAT NASTY BUGS. There would be no complaining here as long as I was able to get the bat outside without the little guy getting hurt. (And given our high ceilings and determined cats, this might not be an easy task.)
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..May Goalpost =-.
How very exciting!
.-= Dotty´s last blog ..I won the yarn lottery! =-.