Tag Archives: stock photos

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 27th (Too Smooth Guy)

Welcome to another edition of the Misadventures in Stock Photography! Today, we’ll be following the misadventures of Too Smooth Guy, so named because he looks as if he’s made from plastic on many of these covers.

Too Smooth Guy set out

, charting his course by

and relying on

to keep him from going astray (or more astray at least). Indeed, he thought that he had

, but alas, it was actually a

, sweeping away

that was his only legacy. (Hi, Candy Cane Guy! Wow, you sure do get around…)

Too Smooth Guy refused to let his failure bring him down and vowed that he would

, no matter how many

were required. Unfortunately, he got a little sidetracked when he was captured,

, and compelled to participate in

in order to ensure his own

. (I’m going to pretend that the flaming guitar-playing skeleton is a figment of my imagination.)

It had been late

when he was captured; he was finally released after spending

a (*waves at YCMMSG*)

. Remember, boys and girls, that

goes unpunished and a little

will apparently get you distorted by the photoshop monsters!

“Mom, how many naughty boys are there?! Surely we have seen all of them by now?! Also, I haven’t forgiven you for not telling me there was still an inch of water in the tub yesterday until after I jumped in.” -Mayhem

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 26th (Pouty Guy)

L. B. Gregg’s kicking off a contest today to welcome new m/m romance author Harper Fox – stop by LB’s blog, Nose in a Book, to read Josh Lanyon’s interview with Harper and say hi!

Welcome to another edition of the Misadventures in Stock Photography! Allow me to introduce you to Pouty Guy. Pouty Guy is

who is on a

with danger, due to his somewhat

behavior. (Hi, Slouching Open Black Jacket Guy! Just between us, that photoshopped mask and harness are so not a good look for you… And Pouty Guy? Whose legs are those? I know you’re wearing jeans in the original photo…)

Then Pouty Guy said, “You don’t have to


. It’s

and I feel

by a host of wicked desires to see this through to the


Bye, Pouty Guy! Hope your tummy feels better soon. You don’t look very comfortable…

“Hmph. I’m the only one who gets to pout on this blog! Those naughty boys are going too far now!!” -Mayhem

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 25th (Wind-in-Hair Guy)

Congrats to Ava March, who won the copy of Lights and Sirens by Stephani Hecht, which was released today!

Many thanks to author Clare London, who found at least a third of these covers! (If you keep an eye on the authors on these covers, you’ll figure out why she was so interested…)

Meet Wind-in-Hair Guy (WiHG), who was a victim of

, which left him with a bad case of

. Hearing rumors of a cure, Wind-in-Hair Guy tried

to see if her fabled

could save him. Instead, it consumed him with

, so he fled to the

, where he was forced to participate in numerous


in an attempt to quell his

. Then

, believing that

, there’s fire, tracked down Wind-in-Hair Guy and

him to make him


*blink blink* Yeah, I’m always surprised where these little stories end up, too.

“Yes, Mom, I see the black kitty. And I see the brown kitty. Why aren’t the kitties the focal point here?!? Hmph. Everyone like kitties better than they like naughty boys.” -Mayhem

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 24th (Shy Guy)

Hello, everyone, and welcome to yet another edition of Misadventures in Stock Photography. Today you’ll be meeting Shy Guy. Awwww.

, and


(“mud” is not a good hair color for you, Shy Guy!), hoping that their plan of

from the

and his

weren’t just

. (Shy Guy, where did those bright yellow butterfly wings come from?!)

“Too late!” crowed the Prince of Servitude. “You’ll not take my freshly undead Trevor away from me now. Together,

will be



!” (Why would anyone airbrush out Shy Guy’s lovely abs?)


, so Shy Guy gave up his quest, accepted that the

he carried were permanent, and commenced

as he enjoyed his lovely new invisible wings.

The end.


“Oh, that poor shy boy, Mom! What a terrible ordeal!!” -Mayhem

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 23rd (The Return of the Return of Candy Cane Guy)

Thanks to Eyre for pointing out that today is the International Day Against Homophobia, described on its website as “a rallying event offering an opportunity for people to get together and reach out to one another.” So be especially kind today, ok?

I’m sure you’ve all been worried about Candy Cane Guy, since I haven’t posted about him since the beginning of April! 😉 It will not surprise you to discover he’s been a busy, busy boy.

, they immediately formed a

and set about

and just generally

. They were living in

until Candy Cane Guy suddenly decided that it was time for some

and hastened to

on a

. His former team member, now left alone, wailed, “Baby, you are

! Please, won’t you


Oh, teh dramaz! 😉 Whatever do you think will happen next??

“I just want you to know that I do not approve of naughty boys, Mom! Not at all. Just in case I haven’t been making myself clear.” -Mayhem

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 22nd (YCMMSG)

Welcome to another edition of Misadventures in Stock Photography! Today you’ll meet You Can’t Make Me Smile Guy (YCMMSG). YCMMSG is

The White Knight

who, upon


in the (obviously clone-inducing)

Stellar Heat

of the


, declared, “You are

The One for Me

!”, immediately began to grow his hair,

example of really, really unfortunate hair

and said, “Hey, baby, give me some sugar



They never learn about the hair, do they?

“Oh, Mom, look! A black kitty! Doesn’t he have pretty turquoise eyes?!” -Mayhem

(Crap, is it time to have that talk with her?!)

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 21st (Hello, Torso Guy)

Today I’d like you to meet Torso Guy.

“But, Chris,” you’re thinking, “couldn’t most of the guys in these stock photos be called Torso Guy?”

Why, yes, that’s very true. But usually they have something that stands out (not like that! sheesh), such as that candy cane in the very first picture I ever saw of Candy Cane Guy. With Torso Guy? His torso-osity is what stands out. Here’s one of the several very similar stock photos of him:

Torso Guy always had a

, drifting through the ladies as if drifting through


until late one night, when he was shouting, “

!” at a

, he realized that his life was at a

. Suddenly, in front of him,

, was a drop

(RRR)! RRR stared at Torso Guy, as if unable to believe that his

was finally there. Just like that, Torso Guy realized he was

, so he swept RRR away to his


…to be continued…

“Is there no end of the naughty boys, Mom?! Aren’t there any good boys out there??” -Mayhem

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the Twentieth (SHAGY)

Welcome to yet another edition of the Misadventures in Stock Photography! Today we’ll be meeting Seventies HAir GuY, aka SHAGY.

Says SHAGY, “If I must go


, even if I have to climb

, so be it. My passion cannot be

by your sordidly


Ok, I’m stuck. Bonus points to anyone who works this final title into SHAGY’s melodramatic declaration!

And additional bonus points to those who identify the other cover model on Off the Beaten Path. 🙂

Continued from Friday


“Ha! I had to wait and wait, but May finally got bored and wandered away! This portable kitty cave is mine again!” -Chaos

Misadventures in Stock Photography (Part the Nineteenth: Another Guy in a Tie)

Kris was actually the first to find this guy on a few covers, but she has graciously given me permission to expand on her post. Thanks, Kris!

Meet Tie Guy Two (or Tie Guy, Too, if you prefer). iStockphoto had many different photos of TGT, with and without his tie. Here are several examples, although so far I haven’t seen any covers using that second photo, for some reason. 😉

“Don’t make me mad. You won’t like it when I’m mad.”

As our story begins, TGT says, “

. When we hang out together at

, I insist that you

.” Yeah, whatever – spiffy red tie you have there, TGT. And the tail… well. You really, really should have horns with that tail. Just sayin’.

Alas, the red tie and tail must’ve clashed with his aviator goggles, since he switched back to the grey.

And now, back to our incoherent little story. TGT hired a

with whom to share some

. But

didn’t tell poor TGT about certain… complications in his life, such as his girlfriend. Realizing that he was now stuck in the thankless role of

and all around

, TGT abandoned his dreams of

and called his now ex an

as he went forth to start his new life. Having been

in the arts of financial management as well as in the arts of pleasure, TGT found a nice banking job

that didn’t require him to wear a shirt with his tie. The end. Thankfully! 🙂

“Oh, no! Another wicked, wicked boy! I can’t bear to look.” -Mayhem

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the Eighteenth (Boys on the Beach)

Thanks for all of your cheering comments on Friday! Congrats to Nikki, who won the mix cd! (She selected the Coffee Mix.) We had a lovely sunny weekend here, perfect for taking a walk or two. 🙂

Allow me to introduce you to the Boys on the Beach. I like the one on the right. You?

Alas, the poor Boys on the Beach ended up

and the guy on the left was so traumatized by the experience that he bleached his hair blond.

Bad, bad choice. So he had to hide his head in shame for a while, but

the guy on the right convinced him that beauty was in the

and the guy on the left started to feel better about himself again. (Hey, wait, where did the beach go?!)

Finally his hair grew out, so they returned to the beach and walked on together.

The end. Until I find more pictures of them, of course.

Friday night, I caught Mayhem napping in one of the cat carriers – I’d say she doesn’t blame it for taking her to the vet, huh?


“What? Why is it a big deal to nap in this portable kitty cave?” -Mayhem