Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 31st (The Return of Torso Guy)

Welcome to another edition of the Misadventures in Stock Photography! Today we’re going to see what Torso Guy’s been up to since the last time he visited… (And please, keep alert so that you detect the photos in which the hand hooked into the top of his jeans has been removed!)

Torso Guy went on a

because he wanted to see

[I have no idea what this title was – if you ever figure out what productid 51 from Shadowfire Press was, let me know!]

again. While he was on his trip, he had a

in which someone was sucking on his

. (Y’all have dirty minds! Sheesh. What did you think was getting sucked?!?)

When he awoke, he realized that even though he’s so much

Larger Than Life [yet another cover now missing in action]


and, no matter what anyone says,

. After his dream of toe-riffic

, (Ouch! That’s nasty scar you picked up between photos, Torso Guy!)

he was ready to make a

(assuming he doesn’t shoot himself somewhere very tender, thus rendering his concerns of size completely moot), because

, folks!

“More naughty boys. I grow displeased, Mom.” -Mayhem

34 thoughts on “Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 31st (The Return of Torso Guy)”

  1. What in the world happened with the Benediction cover? Are those the skinny arms of an alien reaching around from the back and diving into his jeans to cop a feel? What???

  2. Mayhem is such a prude. She needs to loosen up.

    That scar is nasty. At first I thought it was a poor attempt at a treasure trail. It looks like his belly button is leaking.
    A recent post from Tam..Sunday ShortsMy Profile

  3. A scar, and various levels of “ripness” too!.

    Yes, we do (or, I do) have a dirty mind.

    (Mayhem, really. Haven’t you gotten used to seeing these boys??)
    A recent post from Brigitte..What A ShameMy Profile

  4. It’s official, Toe-riffic Benediction is my new favorite phrase. I’m now trying to imagine conversations where I can sneak this in.

    May you are beautiful. Tell your mama that picture should be framed.

  5. The scar, the toes, the man-titty… torso guy lives an interesting life… but if he doesn’t put a shirt on and warm those things up, he’s gonna put an eye out!

    And May, you ARE the center of the universe, no worries. Mom loves more than any torso guy out there…

  6. For a minute there I thought you were going to do the other guy on the first cover. He crops up with alarming regularity too.

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