Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 96th (The Return of Shoulder Guy)

Welcome to another edition of the Misadventures in Stock Photography! It’s been a long, long time since I featured Shoulder Guy. Shall we see what he’s been up to since then?

Because

had triggered the infamous

,

was suffering terribly at

while working in the

at the

without

(no

if he screwed up, either). He should have known there would be a

, but how could he have imagined it would involve being

as part of a

or involve a

and

???

*blink blink*


“If Mom really loved me, she wouldn’t keep posting all these pictures of naughty boys.” -Mayhem

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Misadventures in Stock Photography (Part the Fourth, being an update on our friends from Parts 1-3)

So I’ve discovered that once you start looking for overused stock photography, it’s a bit like falling down the rabbit hole… Shall we start with our old friend Slouching Guy? Here he is… with long hair, which looks so very natural, don’t you think? *snort*

We’ll be revisiting the other guy in the picture (Open Black Jacket Guy) in a future installment of this series. [Edited: They are the same person! Slouching Open Black Jacket Guy as his own twin?!]

Moving right along, let’s see what Shoulder Guy’s been doing.

I’m not even going to try to guess.

Weirdly, the next book involves a chocolate bodysuit somehow (I didn’t really want to know more on this one, either).

Hey, check out the advanced photoshopping technique below. Shoulder Guy, no longer floating alone in space and chocolate.

Finally, let’s see how Candy Cane Guy’s been keeping busy… Guess he took up vampire hunting. (Nice, um, stake.)

That must not have gone so well for him, based on the next cover. I had not idea that becoming a vampire with sloppy eating habits caused your hair to grow!

Unfortunate, that. Even the other cover model looks horrified.

Somehow he got his blood lust under control and got a haircut.

Whew!

Then, um, he took up macrame.

But was forced to flee offworld due to a crafting misunderstanding.

When he finally returned, he went on vacation and his trademark jeans were lost in a tragic fire! O noes!

He was forced to get a job at a moving company so he could afford new jeans.

The end. I hope. (Although you’ll be seeing Looking Down Guy from the cover above again, too.)


Taking revenge can be exhausting….. zzzzzzzz….” -Chaos

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Misadventures in Stock Photography (Part the Third): Shoulder Guy

I know I’ve seen more covers with this guy on them, but can I find them now? No. No, I can’t. So please, let me know if you find any others!

Looks like a blisteringly hot desert to me. Probably not such a stretch to find yourself in the fires of hell after being in the heat of the desert… right?

But, wait, now he’s looking the other way! Dude, you’re going to miss your train, and I can’t imagine there are a lot of trains out of hell.

Very nice shoulder there, mmm?


“I don’t think you’re doing a very good job describing the pose you want, Mom. This has to be close enough. Besides, I don’t feel like looking over my shoulder right now.” -Chaos

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