Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the Seventh (OBJG)

Happy Release Day, Mia, Bronwyn, Brynn, and Dakota! (Dakota? Don’t read the rest of this post, ‘k? Um, no reason. Really.)


In Part 4, I mentioned that we would see Open Black Jacket Guy again. That, kids, is what’s known as heavy-handed foreshadowing. Don’t try it home, ok? SoC accepts no responsibility if you do.

To refresh our memories, here’s Open Black Jacket Guy (OBJG), hanging out with his pal, Slouching Guy. Both have been growing their hair, to ill effect.

Fortunately, OBJG came to his senses, got his hair cut, and ditched Slouching Guy. However, he couldn’t give up on those long-haired boys just yet.

But the emo finally got to him, so he moved on.

Then it turned out that the brooding emo bit wasn’t tied to hair length.

Woe! Woe! Woe! Poor OBJG. He kept trying…

…and trying, but even the most promising turned out to have some fatal flaw (that demonic possession was just the worst), so he decided maybe he’d had enough of the boys.

And that he needed to spend a little time on his own, forgetting.

That was boring, so he got a cat, but there were… complications.

So he ditched the cat, but…

…the girls, they were just as much trouble as the moody boys.

And combining the girls and the moody boys?! Bad, bad idea.

Then in a freak karaoke tattooing accident, his head and body got sort of distorted and cropped; thereafter, everything was a-ok with him.

The end. Until I find a bunch more covers of him. ­čśë


“Still not forgiving you for letting that mysterious unmoving interloper sit on top of the bookcase.” -Chaos

39 thoughts on “Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the Seventh (OBJG)”

  1. What’s frightening is that I’ve read quite a few of those books he was on with pretty boys. LOL

    Crossed Arm Guy is on a ZA Maxfield book as well.

  2. Wow. Are you sure that the two guys on the first cover aren’t the same (one sans jacket, of course)? Also, the second guy on Flame has the most horrendous Photoshop (I hope it is Photoshop) hair.

    *shudder*
    .-= Seanna Lea┬┤s last blog ..new family member =-.

  3. I love these posts! You do a great job with the narrative…

    And I don’t know why, but OBJG in the first book reminded me of Nicolas Cage and so that followed thru all the iterations…Ack!
    .-= wren┬┤s last blog ..Ice Festival =-.

  4. Oh the story line you have created has me rolfmbo!!! Poor thing just needs to give up!

    Still not forgiving Mommie huh Chaos?? It is okay.. Just go dig in Mommies secret spot… I think they are some more sparkly gifts there for you she is hiding!!!! **Do I hear Mission Impossible Theme Song** Mayhem has your back… just be sneaky about it!!! And yea… it is okay to climb up there to knock that fake cat on his butt, lmbo!!!!

    Have a great day Chris!!!!! =)

  5. Ditto on the over done nipple! It is kinda like looking at the same word over and over again. It doesn’t look right after a while… his nipple soooo doesn’t look right by the end!

    (Don’t mind me, I’ve had wayyy tooo much coffeeee)
    .-= Miranda┬┤s last blog ..Contest Bar =-.

  6. Your Misadventures in Stock Photography series is cracking me up. What a bunch of cheesie covers. The weird branching phallus-cactus in the third photo! The freak karaoke-tattooing incident!
    .-= kmkat┬┤s last blog ..Happy. =-.

  7. The photo shopped hair is just…icky. That last distorted one was…I don’t know…whose job is it to say that cover was OK? I’m picturing that conversation – I’m sure there were multiple people involved. The Art Director, the Editor, the Author, the Agent..who persuaded who(m)?

  8. You know I’m really enjoying your Misadventures in Stock Photography series.

    Is that other guy on the Flame cover a cartoon character? He doesn’t look quite real enough.
    .-= Sydney┬┤s last blog ..Snow Days =-.

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