Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 21st (Hello, Torso Guy)

Today I’d like you to meet Torso Guy.

“But, Chris,” you’re thinking, “couldn’t most of the guys in these stock photos be called Torso Guy?”

Why, yes, that’s very true. But usually they have something that stands out (not like that! sheesh), such as that candy cane in the very first picture I ever saw of Candy Cane Guy. With Torso Guy? His torso-osity is what stands out. Here’s one of the several very similar stock photos of him:

Torso Guy always had a

, drifting through the ladies as if drifting through


until late one night, when he was shouting, “

!” at a

, he realized that his life was at a

. Suddenly, in front of him,

, was a drop

(RRR)! RRR stared at Torso Guy, as if unable to believe that his

was finally there. Just like that, Torso Guy realized he was

, so he swept RRR away to his


…to be continued…

“Is there no end of the naughty boys, Mom?! Aren’t there any good boys out there??” -Mayhem