Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the Sixth (Neck Crick Guy)

Let’s start off with a bit of bait and switch, shall we? (But wait, you’re thinking… What?)

See the guy in front? Nope, he’s not the focus on this post. However, he leads us here…

…to that guy in the background. Whatever shall we call him? How about Neck Crick Guy, or NCG for short? Works for me. (And hey, you’re stuck with it!) I know NCG is sort of hard to see in this next cover, but he does have a lovely tattoo now.

Oh, so you’d like to see that tattoo a little more clearly? Can do… but you’ll have to hold that thought for a few more pictures, ‘k?

Run, NCG! Run! Run! That guy has a mutant flashlight saber and things do not look good!

O noes, NCG! What happened to your head?! Did the mean man with the mutant flashlight saber carve off part of your skull?!

I’m sure the nice naked lady will make you all better.

Or maybe this nice naked lady will make you all better…

Fine. Be that way. Maybe this nice naked boy will it make you all better.

Ok, now you can get another glimpse of that shoulder tattoo… Wait! Who stuck a sword through your head, NCG?!

I guess those nice naked bois weren’t so nice, huh? How about a nice dressed lady for a change?

Anyway. What is it with vampires, bloody faces, and an attack of blond hair growth? It’s not the first time we’ve seen this phenomenon – remember when it happened to poor Candy Cane Guy?

Be careful out there, kids. This cover modeling stuff is

and obviously not for the faint of heart.

Keeping that in mind, I’ve saved the most dangerous aspect of cover modeling and vampirism for last. Brace yourselves…

Yeah, I have no idea WTF, either.

“O noes, Mom! Will that poor man’s neck be stuck like that forever?! Wait, what do you mean my face may freeze like this?!” -Mayhem

40 thoughts on “Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the Sixth (Neck Crick Guy)”

  1. Poor dude! The blond and pasty skinned version of him was bad enough, but the last one? You’re scarring Mayhem with all this!

  2. Low bow to you my dear… just for your patience at looking at all that freakiness…

    You did give me a good laugh.. whats up with that last pic…

    I am surprise Mayhem isn’t saying something like..

    My eyes, My eyes!!!


  3. Too funny. I wonder if NCG every surfs around the net and laughs when he sees himself with different hair and tattoos and all manner of body mods? Do you think he prefers the naked boy pictures or naked ladies? I am concerned for his missing skull in that one picture, mutant man.

    kmkat: I did enjoy Holed Up as a book, but now you’ve forced my mind to slide into the gutter.

  4. Oh my. Crazy! I wonder if NCG or Candy Cane Guy gets around more… though you did say you have more from Candy Cane Guy that you haven’t shown us yet.

    So… do you actually read the books, or just look for the pictures on the covers? 🙂
    .-= Nicole´s last blog ..Readers and Piracy =-.

    1. NO! It’s rare that I have read any of the books that I highlight. However, out of this batch, I have read two of the books (Holed Up and The Vampire Shrink). I have at least another post of Candy Cane Guy. At least.

  5. Makes it a little difficult for him to kiss straight on, don’tcha think? Of course if they’re coming at you from behind…not so much.

  6. Wow, I love your narrative in these. It’s a bit depressing that there are so few stock images of men to choose from. There are photos of women galore, but comparatively few men.

    A photographer with a few hot male friends could make some decent money if she gave us new guy-images to play with.

    I think the blond vamp hair on Vampire Shrink is really well done. The photo looks painterly as well as the hair, the background’s great…I like that whole cover!

    1. I should’ve mentioned in the post, but The Vampire Shrink was “Patient Zero” for me. I read that book a year or so ago. When I saw the cover to Holed Up, I realized NCG was on both… and that ultimately led to the Misadventures in Stock Photography series.

  7. Yeah, so the cover for Island Bois? Someone take that person’s access to the computer away – that layour makes me cringe!

    I was however amused by the dildosaber on the cover of To Touch The Stars. Use the Force NCG! Er…perhaps I’ve gone too far, now… 😉
    .-= Eklectika´s last blog .. =-.

  8. LOL! I’m not sure which is funnier May’s face or the adventures in stock photography. NCG is starting make my neck hurt! And the Island Bois cover makes my head hurt. 🙂
    .-= Sydney´s last blog ..Snow Days =-.

  9. Wow. All those covers look similar. Who’d a thunk there was a ‘genre’ for cover art like that ? (I rarely look at cover art)
    .-= Carol´s last blog ..Candy =-.

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