Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 34th (The Return of the Return of the Return of SOBJG)

Congrats to Kaetrin, who won Priority One by Stephani Hecht! (Priority One was released on August 1 by eXtasy Books.)

Congrats to Jessica, who won Fugly by K. Z. Snow! (Fugly was released today by Liquid Silver.)

Congrats to Laura Reece, who won Loving Edits by Mickie B. Ashling!


Welcome to another edition of the Misadventures in Stock Photography! Today we’re revisiting our old friend, Slouching Open Black Jacket Guy (SOBJG).

It was only

before SOBJG, tired of being

to the

, would follow the urges of his

and begin the

pattern of

that would lead him away from his

and into the arms of

for many long, sultry

. The end. For now. 🙂

Is anyone keeping track of which of these Misadventures posts contains the most preposterous run-on sentence?!


“Hmph. More naughty boys. I think I need a refund on my hypnosis class!” -Mayhem

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Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the Fifteenth (Slouching Open Black Jacket Guy, with Towel)

Many thanks to Sydney, who helped me find the actual stock photos of our friend Slouching Open Black Jacket Guy. As you will see, the stock photos were particularly helpful this time. Shall we proceed?

Here’s the stock photo used in the next several covers. Carefully note that he is wearing jeans.

So… where did his jeans go?! And just whose lower body is that?? O_o

Maybe it’s safer to just leave those jeans alone and give him crazy blond hair instead?

Um, no. Not so much.

And is it

to be a

? SOBJG’s friend doesn’t look

on the idea, does he?

*blank stare* I got nothin’ for integrating this next cover into my little narrative. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Moving right along – let’s have another stock photo interlude, shall we? Again, carefully note that he is wearing jeans.

And despite attempts to get him to wear a

, he refused and instead slipped into something a bit more comfortable… and apparently emascualting. Because I don’t think that his lower half exactly looks male anymore in this next cover.

Thoughts? To help you in your analysis, here’s what SOBJG actually looks like in bikini bottoms…

*ahem*


“Mom, that poor boy has no fur at all! He must be so cold! I can’t bear to look at that poor cold boy anymore.” -Mayhem

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Misadventures in Stock Photography (Part the Tenth: Oh oh)

So I’m starting to get this sinking feeling that maybe this is actually Slouching Open Black Jacket Guy with better posture and no jacket… Thoughts?! Until I’m sure (or you’re sure and convince me), meet Looking Down Guy. His hobbies include home remodeling,

collecting rent,

horseback riding,

painting,

hanging out with the guys,

taking moonlit walks,

being snowbound in the mountains,

raising werewolves,

I really wish I knew what this cover had been… all I know was that it was eXtasy Books…

and hanging out with Candy Cane Guy, helping him move

and decorate for the holidays. (Whoops! It’s Slave Boy in this next picture)

He also seems to be a bit torn between darkness

and light.

I wonder which way he’ll go? 🙂


“…zzzzzzz… Wha…? Mom, what are you doing? You aren’t taking more pictures of me, are you?” -Chaos

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Misadventures in Stock Photography: Burning Questions

Several of you have wondered if Slouching Guy and Open Black Jacket Guy (OBJG) are the same person.

Hmm. Good question. I can’t quite tell.

What do you think?

I think they both have the same… belt.

And is this the same guy, or just someone else wearing that same jacket (now with bonus cop’s shield)?!

Discuss.


“These are my pink sparklies. Mine. MINE!!! You stay away, you big kitty, you.” -Mayhem

I think it’s safe to say she likes them, Nicole – thank you!

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Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the Seventh (OBJG)

Happy Release Day, Mia, Bronwyn, Brynn, and Dakota! (Dakota? Don’t read the rest of this post, ‘k? Um, no reason. Really.)


In Part 4, I mentioned that we would see Open Black Jacket Guy again. That, kids, is what’s known as heavy-handed foreshadowing. Don’t try it home, ok? SoC accepts no responsibility if you do.

To refresh our memories, here’s Open Black Jacket Guy (OBJG), hanging out with his pal, Slouching Guy. Both have been growing their hair, to ill effect.

Fortunately, OBJG came to his senses, got his hair cut, and ditched Slouching Guy. However, he couldn’t give up on those long-haired boys just yet.

But the emo finally got to him, so he moved on.

Then it turned out that the brooding emo bit wasn’t tied to hair length.

Woe! Woe! Woe! Poor OBJG. He kept trying…

…and trying, but even the most promising turned out to have some fatal flaw (that demonic possession was just the worst), so he decided maybe he’d had enough of the boys.

And that he needed to spend a little time on his own, forgetting.

That was boring, so he got a cat, but there were… complications.

So he ditched the cat, but…

…the girls, they were just as much trouble as the moody boys.

And combining the girls and the moody boys?! Bad, bad idea.

Then in a freak karaoke tattooing accident, his head and body got sort of distorted and cropped; thereafter, everything was a-ok with him.

The end. Until I find a bunch more covers of him. 😉


“Still not forgiving you for letting that mysterious unmoving interloper sit on top of the bookcase.” -Chaos

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