Over the past few weeks, I’ve been reading about lots of folks with the winter blues. It makes sense – it’s been winter for a while, and for those of us in the more northern parts of the continent, it’s been cold and cloudy and dark. But as I was noticing the prevalence of the blues, I realized that I was feeling far less blue than I had for a long time; in fact, upon careful contemplation, far less blue than I’d felt for well over a year.
The past year has been been a rough one here at Casa de Chaos – but rough in the sort of way that sneaks up on you, that you don’t realize is rough at the time – only in retrospect. It was a year of mild but ongoing health issues… and the discovery of several new health issues. It was a year of having a brief but promising relationship fizzle in a disconcerting way. It was a year of finally admitting that I’m happier not dating. It was a year of learning that some key friendships had little to hold them up when things were rough, but that others were unexpectedly sturdy. It was the year that all of these things coalesced and I slipped deeper and deeper into myself.
Then I began reading some blogs… and then some more blogs… and then discovered a blogalogue running in my head. Eventually, that blogalogue demanded out and I started Stumbling Over Chaos (well, I’ve been stumbling over Chaos for the past several years, but you know what I mean!). I started slowly and realized that I loved blogging. I loved that it required a tiny daily act of creativity and creation, which had seeped out of my life. I loved that it helped me find new interest in my knitting. I loved that it got me thinking outside myself. I loved the connections that developed with other bloggers through the acts of writing, reading, commenting, sharing, and caring.
Thus, as others fight the winter blues and blahs, I find myself with more energy, more connections, and more joy than I’ve had in my life for a long time – far beyond the past year. I’d like to acknowledge all of you who’ve stopped by and shared in my life and the life of my chaotic cat, and all of you whose blogs I’ve been reading, because you’ve all been part of this revitalization. Thank you!
Awww. I love our little blogcommunity too. I’m glad you’re doing so well and I really, really, look forward to meeting you!!
awww. look at your little munchkin all snuggly up with the yarn? and blogging is much healthier, much more fun than dating! much better for the self-esteem too!
Very nicely said. And that blue is not at all “blue,” but very uplifting. (I LOVE blue!)
Interesting that Krishna (the hindu god associated with love) is blue skinned and so is Shiva (the hindu god of both meditation and destruction. Someone once gave me a blue skirt that they had purchased in Bali and said when they saw it they thought of me – can I say that blue, while pretty, is not the colour I choose 9/10 times? ***CV
I feel like a complete dork but I never associated your cat’s name with the title of your blog. *smacks forehead* Hopefully my dorkiness will give you a good laugh.
I really enjoy our blogland too. During some bad episodes it’s been my only contact with the world. Thanks to knitting now I get out at least once a week to see my knitting buddies.
I really hope to see you this fall. It sounds like you’ve had a hell of a year but I’m glad that it helped you find bloggyfriends.
There have been some interesting studies about how colors reflect light into the retina and affect people’s emotions. It’s funny how colors can change depending on the time of day or what colors are next to it.
I really like the word “blogalogue”- that’s pretty accurate as to how my brain works too, though I usually forget what the heck I was thinking about before I get to the computer.
I was thinking the other day about how empty my life would be without the world of knit-blogs and fellow bloggers… it would be very blue.
That yarn (and of course Chaos..)by the way, is gorgeous!
This is the first time I’ve viewed your blog…I finally decided to find out who the lady with the cat was! I’m sorry to hear that you went through some trials last year (I’m going through a divorce, and I, too, have realized who my real friends are through all of this.) What doesn’t kill ya can only make you stronger!
It’s so enlightening to realize that, while looking inward can help you grow, too much of it just gets you down. There’s that perfect balance of reaching out/looking in we all need to achieve, and it’s just hard to do.
What a wonderful post! I love making connections with people in Blogland, too. I know I’ve only been reading your blog for a few days, but I’m so glad that I got the chance to “meet” you! I’m happy to know that what was blue before is far less so now and I wish you the best with your health. Take care, Chris!
Right back at you!
*hug*
You have certainly helped me and pao through some very tough times and I’m glad we met! You are a lovely lovely lady and I am very very lucky to have met you.
Hug!
(and stroke for Chaos)
PS Gorgeous blue yarn
So true! Love that blue yarn…
And you’ve made our lives so much better too!!
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
It’s been like being pecked to death by ducks, right? Because we’ve had a lot of that over at my house, too. I’m glad that you found blogging. You are a great addition to the knit blogging community!
I’ve only been reading your blog for a little while but i’m already hooked on you and Chaos. I loving finding out what your all up to and people that also understand my obsession! I’M NOT crazy!!!!
Thank you for the daily smiles and giggles!
Ditto! And LOVE that yarn. Beautiful!
Chris – I know we banter back and forth most days, slinging little witticisms like tennis balls, and that we are rarely serious, but I loved your post. You captured in words exactly how I feel. This winter really hasn’t sucked too much, and it’s because of friendships that I have made throughout blogland – and you are one that I truly do cherish.
I hope to meet you in person some day, and if I do, I’m going to give you a big fat hug………(in a non-brokeback kind of way) But for now: *******cyberhug************
It would seem that things are actually black and blue around there. Like someone got in a cat fight.
I am so happy that I found your blog, each day it makes me laugh or sparks my mind to repsond. And I can’t not come and see Chaos each day. I think he has me in a trance!
You are an awesome person and I’m glad to have met you! Maybe oneday I’ll meet you in person and give you a big ole’ hug! In the meantime I guess I’ll just keep on reading your blog and enjoyin’ the hell out of you and Chaos.
lovely post! I agree, blogland has widened my world (which is socially smaller now that so many of my contemporaries are leaving London; and I am hampered by working unsociable hours), so making more connections with fibre minded others is a life enhancing thing!
I’m glad to have found your blog! Thank you for being such a fun member of our blogland.
it goes both ways!
“Then I began reading some blogs… and then some more blogs… and then discovered a blogalogue running in my head. Eventually, that blogalogue demanded out and I started Stumbling Over Chaos” LOL Say that 10 times fast. Here’s to wishing the winter away entirely. You never hear of Spring Blues.
Glad to hear you aren’t blue…we won’t talk about me.
So, that pink/red button for Project Spectrum…is that your creation? If not, where did you find it, because I like it and would like to put it on my blog. I like the idea of having the colors right in front of my face. Happy Friday!
I love reading your blog too!
*hug*
Thank you.
Awww. Right back at ya.
I’m with Katherine… lovely introspective retrospective!
Hugs to you, a little bit of nuzzling for that delicious yarn, and tuna for Chaos (I’m feeling generous)
~Eileen
katherine’s the one who usually makes me cry! now you did!! that’s was perfect!!
oh and the blue malabrigo!! LOVE it!!
Beautiful Chris. And thank you too. You and Chaos continue to bring much joy into my life as well.
I’m so glad your year is warm and bright. I know that feeling, when you sort of shake off the chaff of your relationships and realize that there *is* more and it’s possible. That’s powerful stuff, though it’s not always found through easy times.
I’m glad you’re here, in this blogosphere of ours.
And girl–LOVE the 80′s hair. And how cool are you in the pink blazer?
Love, Cate, who just caught up with a couple of posts, as is pretty obvious, eh?
;o) I’m glad we’ve stumbled across each other in the blogosphere (well, you did the stumbling, and I’m glad for it!) You’ve brought some of the ‘blue’ out of my major move to Tennessee. It does get lonely out here in the backwoods! I look forward each day to seeing a new friend (and Chaos too!)
And – You keep reminding me I need to knit, and other cool new things as well! *Willow and Sally say hello too!*
Nicely said Chris. Reading your blog and seeing Chaos pictures is something that always cheers me up and is one of the highlights of my day. Much better than my Lexapro! Thank you for putting yourself out there for us to see. A hug for you, and a pat for Chaos. I’m seriously consdering knitting him a kitty toy. Does he like eggrolls?
I’m glad you’re blogging. I love my daily Chaos update! Love the Malabrigo as well.
Gwen
Noone could have the blues when they look at that yarn! It is gorgeous!
It is interesting, isn’t it how we find people out there and we think wow. I like this person, they feel like a friend even though I’ve never met them. I’ve been thinking similar stuff recently, particularly after spending two days with my workmates.
BTW, love the 80s photos. At least your perms worked. Mine sorta went flat. And I wear a lot less makeup now too.
Chris, I hope to see your backyard photos tomorrow! Want me to add you to the list of participants in my sidebar?
What a lovely post. I feel sometimes that my blog and the internet is my little link to the world and I love that through it I’ve ‘met’ people that I’ve instantly liked. It’s a good feeling and nice if you’re ever feeling down.
And as for dating, I always hated it, even in my teens. Too many games for my liking. I used to love living on my own and was usually most happy once a relationship ended – I could get back to my own life again then
I really never thought I’d meet anyone I would want to marry – it was a REAL surprise when I actually did.
Anyway, how is any guy going to compare to Chaos? He’s already housetrained, is great on a photo shoot, never moans, doesn’t hog the remote, and is always up for a cuddle!!!
Sniff, sniff. I’m always late to a party!
danged life, getting in the way! 
Thank you, Chris, for sharing your life. It is, indeed, my pleasure to get to know you! I look forward to that friendship growing.
(look! Our little friendship is growing up!) heh!
Blues. Yes, I think that I am finally, in my life able to see them and understand them a bit more. They are not necessarily bad. But can sometimes be calorie laden, if you let them!
xoxo
I’m so glad I stumbled over you in the blogging world! I look forward to reading you each day. Here’s hoping you soon have biking weather in your neck of the woods!
Awww, ditto!
I’m one of those suffering from the winter blues. It’s always tough to see what the problem is at the time, but it’s good that you’re recognizing what makes you happy and what doesn’t.
The blog community is something I never understood until I got into it. I too have met some wonderful people I never would have met because of geography. It is such a great and supporting community. I always look forward to your posts and I am so happy we’ve “met”. Take care!
What a great post! You’re blog has brightened my day many times. We’ve sure had our share of blue days. It’s good hear that your days are getting brighter.
It’s so great getting to know you, too.
I was thinking this winter was going relatively well for me and attributing it to the mild weather. But I think my new blogfriends and forcing myself to log my life is really helping, too.
Hopefully I will meet you this fall in NM
I could say the same for my year, too! It’s amazing what happens to a person when they find 1) a passion in their life and 2) people who share it. Sort of turns on the old life light switch, doesn’t it?
I remember reading this post last year, and I got the shivers then, too. Well put, Sherlock!