Welcome to another edition of the Misadventures in Stock Photography! Today, we’ll be following the misadventures of Too Smooth Guy, so named because he looks as if he’s made from plastic on many of these covers.
Too Smooth Guy set out
, charting his course by
and relying on
to keep him from going astray (or more astray at least). Indeed, he thought that he had
, but alas, it was actually a
, sweeping away
that was his only legacy. (Hi, Candy Cane Guy! Wow, you sure do get around…)
Too Smooth Guy refused to let his failure bring him down and vowed that he would
, no matter how many
were required. Unfortunately, he got a little sidetracked when he was captured,
, and compelled to participate in
in order to ensure his own
. (I’m going to pretend that the flaming guitar-playing skeleton is a figment of my imagination.)
It had been late
when he was captured; he was finally released after spending
a (*waves at YCMMSG*)
. Remember, boys and girls, that
goes unpunished and a little
will apparently get you distorted by the photoshop monsters!
“Mom, how many naughty boys are there?! Surely we have seen all of them by now?! Also, I haven’t forgiven you for not telling me there was still an inch of water in the tub yesterday until after I jumped in.” -Mayhem
39 thoughts on “Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 27th (Too Smooth Guy)”
Poor May! Water in the tub is an unexpected surprise. I am trying to desensitize Victor to water (sprinkler, bath time), but he is a dog. I would never do that to my kitty, Saru-chan!
(and I’m kind of with May on the number of random guys. I am in awe of the number of guys you find for these things. Also, dang! The cover of Survival is particularly bad!)
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Oh no! I have nothing smart at all to say about this guy
I’m guessing you moved pretty quickly out of that tub, May! Poor wet kitty.
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Too Smooth Guy looks like a Ken doll.
Hee hee, I’m guessing she jumped out of that tub pretty quickly!
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I was so happy to see CCG. I think he’s my favourite. I think smoothie is kind of cute, when he’s not distorted but seriously, a flaming guitar playing skeleton? Really?
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Yes May, just how many boys are there! I’m appalled that you mom wouldn’t bother to tell you about the water, however, did you ask?
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Agreeing with Mayhem: that’s a lot of naughty, naughty boys and moms should always warn the kitties about residual tub water.
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Too smooth guy looks like maybe 3 or 4 stock shots were taken. Those cover designers are very clever in their use of stock photos, aren’t they? And, May? Just don’t go near the tub!
Chris- He looks like a Ken doll on steroids.
That happened to KC while I was taking a bath, he fell in.
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I wonder if he’s as smooth a talker as he is smooth skinned? LOL, all the getting around he does I bet he is. Lovely to see Candy Cane Guy.
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Mayhem – if an inch of water in the tub bothers you, you are lucky you are not an outside cat right now! You would not be a happy princess!
Brilliant! How do you do it? I must say, though, you should’ve saved the fluorescent skeletal guitar hero for last, because that’s a climactic image if ever I saw one! 😀
Time to invest in some drain cleaner. Either that, or water wings for the felines. Poor May!
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Poor, soggy May.
Wow…TSG – you really do get around. I don’t know what those photoshopppers are do to you, but your head looks way too small in some of those pics.
I have no words for the flaming guitar playing skeleton. None.
I know there’s a way to make money off this… I need to find the company that makes body wax, and invest in their stock. It must take a whole gallon of the stuff each time to make them as smooth as a baby’s behind.
Why do these e-book cover “artists” (yes, it’s time to bring out the quotes), insist on melding three or four stock photos into a Frankenstein-esq cover? They’d do much better to focus on one decent shot, and then add some *gasp* illustrations or border artwork. I guess that would be too much work.
Thanks for an entertaining Monday!
Aw, thanks, KZ. 🙂
Bron: How about “Thank jeebus that wasn’t the cover for one of my books!”? 😉
LOL about the body wax stock, Rebecca!
Very nom looking man. He could be in a commercial for shaving cream and only wearing a towel and nothing else.
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poor May… that nasty ol water will getcha every time!
and I simply cannot believe that you are still finding books with those fellas on them… omgosh.. how many trashy novels are there? ha ha ha
Hmmm, he might be TOO smooth but he’s still kinder for the eye as many other cover models… I know, I’m shallow *g*
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Too smooth guy… or blow up doll… only the photographer knows for sure! (Okay… how did you know it was Candy Cane guy in that one pic– I couldn’t see his navel!
Oh poor May! that is a terrible shock to a kitty.
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For some reason A Cherished Christmas has always been my husband’s favorite out of all my covers. I wonder if it has anything to do with the half-naked chick?
Too Smooth Guy’s head looks too small for his body. And that guitar-playing skeleton – WTF? I love when you find another “stock photography guy” in one of your covers – it’s like a bonus 🙂
Poor May- I’m sure you (Chris) didn’t laugh. At all.
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poor guy gets mirrored and plasticized and skewed a lot doesn’t he.
i especially like the guitar hero playing skeleton. Wonder if it has anything to do with the books contents?
Aww May, Katie avoids this by never jumping into the tub.
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Is that a pout Mayhem – poor baby, bad Mommy..
I have always thought that guy looks like the guy from the 80’s Incredible Hulk series – when he is morphing into the hulk…
Over muscled and that neck…uuhhh
Poor May! Have you left soggy presents for Mom yet, or are you waiting until she doesn’t suspect anything?
Flaming guitar-playing skeletons. This is clearly either a hallucination or an ad for the latest Guitar Hero. I’m voting for hallucination. Does that count as a reason to leave work early?
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Poor Mayhem! (But would she have listened to a warning, anyway?)
Flaming guitar skeleton: bwahahahaha! It kinda reminds me of Death in _Soul Music_, except I like Pratchett better than I like that cover.
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Isn’t this the one who reminds me of Ben Stiller in Zoolander? Even more when he buffed up for Tropic Thunder.
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Whoa, this guy really gets around! And poor May, getting her feet wet! I’ll bet she held a grudge over that for a while. 🙂
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Tell her that at least she got her toes cleaned. And that flaming skeleton… too weird.
All I can say is that I rather have too smooth than too hairy. No sasquatch men for me!
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Ah it’s good to see so many old stock photography friends. He does have the look of a bulked up Ken doll.
Poor May, that is a cruel joke.
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Ken, after those years of steroid abuse…
LOL. Too smooth guy! You are SOOOOO smooth. I love you almost as much as skeleton guitar guy! Yeah! Another great edition!!!!
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Iâ€™m going to pretend that the flaming guitar-playing skeleton is a figment of my imagination.
I’m going to join you!
Chris – you’re gifted, truly gifted.
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Abs just have to painted on with gravy powder, otherwise, does he have any life outside the gym (or the spray tan booth, or the waxers?)
Love the skeleton guitarist – how could anyone resist such an appealing image?
Aww Mayhem…that’s a not so nice surprise in the tub. *grin*
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Why does he look like a good looking version of Ben Stiller to me? IDK.
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I wonder how much he spends in strip wax or whether he photoshops 🙂
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