Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the Fifteenth (Slouching Open Black Jacket Guy, with Towel)

Many thanks to Sydney, who helped me find the actual stock photos of our friend Slouching Open Black Jacket Guy. As you will see, the stock photos were particularly helpful this time. Shall we proceed?

Here’s the stock photo used in the next several covers. Carefully note that he is wearing jeans.

So… where did his jeans go?! And just whose lower body is that?? O_o

Maybe it’s safer to just leave those jeans alone and give him crazy blond hair instead?

Um, no. Not so much.

And is it

to be a

? SOBJG’s friend doesn’t look

on the idea, does he?

*blank stare* I got nothin’ for integrating this next cover into my little narrative. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Moving right along – let’s have another stock photo interlude, shall we? Again, carefully note that he is wearing jeans.

And despite attempts to get him to wear a

, he refused and instead slipped into something a bit more comfortable… and apparently emascualting. Because I don’t think that his lower half exactly looks male anymore in this next cover.

Thoughts? To help you in your analysis, here’s what SOBJG actually looks like in bikini bottoms…


“Mom, that poor boy has no fur at all! He must be so cold! I can’t bear to look at that poor cold boy anymore.” -Mayhem

36 thoughts on “Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the Fifteenth (Slouching Open Black Jacket Guy, with Towel)”

  1. I love those red undies. Ummm. He seems to have lost his manhood in that pic with the black trunks, especially when compared to his red package.

  2. Look away, Mayhem, look away…

    That was pretty cool to see the stock photos. Laughing at Seanna Lea’s comment re: checking out his assets!

    BTW – I’ve officially become obsessed, I can’t stop thinking about “finders” thanks to you. I’m trying to figure out if I know anyone like that.

  3. I wonder if these guys keep up with all the iterations of their photos. And wouldn’t it be crazy if one of them showed up in your comments?

    Dear Chris, I am Slouching Open Black Jacket Guy with Towel. I love reading your blog and seeing my beautiful bod all over it. Those black bikinis though? Those are what I wear when I’m putting on that Disorienting Dress!
    .-= wren´s last blog ..Vexations and Cockleburrs =-.

  4. OMG!

    I think Amor in Retrogrado: Love in Retrograde is where you were going with that one. But geez the bikini bottoms in black? Looks like the blocked and colored a piece of his torso and pushed it down a little. Maybe he has a removable penis?

  5. Oh my gosh, I am rolfmbo at everyone’s comments!
    First, Mayhem may have a point. Although it does not seem to be effecting his package in the red… now in the black, I am a little worried… Eeekk!!

    What a way to start a Monday.

  6. The black bikini application reminds me of when I’m shopping online and there is a link to click to see a shirt in another color – and the garment all of a sudden loses all of its texture and drape.
    .-= trek´s last blog ..In which Neatnik is clingy =-.

  7. LOL! When Photoshop skills go bad. He looks much much better in red than in black. Speaking of which, there’s something really wrong about the lower body in Esprit de Corps.
    .-= Sydney´s last blog ..Welcome to Spring =-.

  8. Ahem indeed. Theory #1: In black he’s got nothing, in red he’s got something and in Retrogrado it takes half a city block to cover his “real estate”. He is the prototype for a new toy, Mr. Potato Pants. Theory #2: In black he has the towel around his neck. In red, we cannot see the towel – perhaps it is, ummm, cohabiting the bikini briefs with him? Anyway, just dropped by to say I added a link to yarndex for the disco you asked about.

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