Crazy Aunt Purl (aka Laurie Perry) is nearing the end of her blog tour to support her new book, Crazy Aunt Purl’s Home Is Where the Wine Is: Making the Most of What You’ve Got One Stitch (and Cocktail!) at a Time. Since Laurie’s probably answered every possible question there is to ask about her book at this point in her blog tour, her cats have stepped up to be interviewed… for the first time.
Today, Chaos and Mayhem are excited to welcome Bob, Sobakowa, and Frankie from Crazy Aunt Purl to Stumbling Over Chaos! Bob, Soba, and Frankie live in Los Angeles with Laurie.
Chaos: Excited? We are awake.
Mayhem: Speak for yourself, big kitty! Hi, other kitties!!!!!!!! Mom said you live far away. I hope you don’t live at the vet!! The vet is far away.
And May is a titch excitable… Perhaps you three can begin by telling us a bit about the book?
Soba: All I know is that I’m not on the cover – again – and she’s going to hear from my lawyer.
Chaos: So I heard that you actually wrote this book, Soba, but didn’t get any credit for it. Any truth to that, and if so, why do you let your mom get away with treating you so cruelly?
Frankie: I’m an airhead.
Bob: I’m scared. Or hungry. Or scared. Or hungry.
Soba: Obviously I have a more existential relationship with the manuscript, as my way of working is more self-directed, but I don’t need the recognition of a byline. Lesser cats may feel slighted by indignities like pooping in a box or having a stunt cat pictured on the cover of her human’s book, but I have loftier aspirations. Total world domination.
Chaos: Did you always know you’d be so successful at being crabby, Soba, and can you offer any advice to kitties who’d like to do the same?
Soba: I don’t think of myself as crabby. I think of myself as unfortunately equipped with claws but no thumbs.
Chaos: I feel your pain! The no thumbs thing really sucks, especially since Mom put locks on the cupboards. Hmph. Ok, Bob, you’re so laid back. Any tips for maintaining your boyish cool in a female dominated household?
Bob: Find a quiet spot in the closet.
Mayhem: Do you dye your fur, Bob? No one is that shade of orange!
Bob: I once ate half a bag of cheetos that I found in my human’s handbag. Maybe that did it?
Chaos: Are the rumors about Bob faking his dumbness true? Is it true he really has a degree in Economics, and it’s all an act?
Bob just fell off the bed, and is unable to answer this question.
Mayhem: Ouch. Poor Bob. I bet that hurt. Frankie, how do you deal with the pressure to be beautiful all the time? I myself find it requires many hours of napping to sustain.
Frankie: When you’re naturally gorgeous like me, you don’t feel pressure to stay beautiful because you just are. But finding people to appreciate your beauty nonstop is so hard! They always want to do things like “sleep” and “watch TV” so I have to stand on their stomachs or block the TV. It’s hard work being appreciated for your beauty.
Mayhem: Do you ever see ghosts? I do!!
Frankie: Not since we moved. Now we see more dust bunnies.
Chaos: Is it true that pets that live in California are all famous?
Soba: Only the ones with good representation. Our agent is with CAA….
Mayhem: What’s your favorite flavor of yarn? I like all kinds!!
Bob: I prefer knitting needles to yarn. Much easier to ruin.
Mayhem: Oh, yes, knitting needles are nice, too!!
Chaos: What kind of parties do you have when your mom’s at work?
Soba: I hate cats, so I spend most of the day trying to open the door and get to Starbucks so I can be with my own kind.
Mayhem: Do you have any suggestions on how to get our mom to quit spending so much money on yarn and buy more toys and treats?
Frankie: Have you tried throwing up on the yarn?
Mayhem: Oh, I’ll have to get the big kitty on that. He’s a very pukey kitty.
Chaos: What happens to you when your mom leaves for a while? (We’re pretty sure our mom stood in the hallway for two weeks when she said she was going on vacation, because even she wouldn’t visit the vet for two weeks.)
Frankie: We have a British nanny who stays with us. She’s like supernanny, only taller.
Chaos: How do you punish your mom for leaving you alone?
Soba: Targeted furniture shredding.
Frankie: Constant meowing when she returns is really helpful.
Chaos: Oh yeah, I work the constant meowing, too. So very effective, isn’t it?
Mayhem: Is it true that fluffy white birds [snowflakes] don’t fall from the sky in California?
Frankie: We have lint. Does that count?
Chaos: I still miss Roy. Care to share an amusing anecdote about the Old Man?
Bob: He could actually open doors! He was so tall that if he stood on his hind legs and put his paws on the long type of door handles he could open all the doors. It was amazing.
Mayhem: Where does your mom buy your catnip? Does she have an inside line to a reputable source?
Chris breathes a sigh of relief that May didn’t bring up Frankie’s bust for catnip possession last summer.
Frankie: Living in California has its advantages, as we have legalized the catnip trade for medicinal purposes. Soba uses it for her “glaucoma.”
Chaos: Do you like it when your mom has visitors? How do you react? I stand at the front door after Mom buzzes someone in and I greet them with growling and hissing.
Soba: I enjoy discourse with new humans. The other cats hide under the bed and pretend to be invisible, the fools.
Mayhem: Thank you for visiting with us, kitties from faraway!!!!!
And thanks for letting your cats visit with us today, Laurie!
Laurie’s publisher HCI has offered five copies of Home Is Where the Wine Is for me to give away, so make sure you mention that you’re entering the contest when you comment.
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