Let’s start off with a bit of bait and switch, shall we? (But wait, you’re thinking… What?)
See the guy in front? Nope, he’s not the focus on this post. However, he leads us here…
…to that guy in the background. Whatever shall we call him? How about Neck Crick Guy, or NCG for short? Works for me. (And hey, you’re stuck with it!) I know NCG is sort of hard to see in this next cover, but he does have a lovely tattoo now.
Oh, so you’d like to see that tattoo a little more clearly? Can do… but you’ll have to hold that thought for a few more pictures, ‘k?
Run, NCG! Run! Run! That guy has a mutant flashlight saber and things do not look good!
O noes, NCG! What happened to your head?! Did the mean man with the mutant flashlight saber carve off part of your skull?!
I’m sure the nice naked lady will make you all better.
Or maybe this nice naked lady will make you all better…
Fine. Be that way. Maybe this nice naked boy will it make you all better.
Ok, now you can get another glimpse of that shoulder tattoo… Wait! Who stuck a sword through your head, NCG?!
I guess those nice naked bois weren’t so nice, huh? How about a nice dressed lady for a change?
Anyway. What is it with vampires, bloody faces, and an attack of blond hair growth? It’s not the first time we’ve seen this phenomenon – remember when it happened to poor Candy Cane Guy?
Be careful out there, kids. This cover modeling stuff is
and obviously not for the faint of heart.
Keeping that in mind, I’ve saved the most dangerous aspect of cover modeling and vampirism for last. Brace yourselves…
Yeah, I have no idea WTF, either.
“O noes, Mom! Will that poor man’s neck be stuck like that forever?! Wait, what do you mean my face may freeze like this?!” -Mayhem
40 thoughts on “Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the Sixth (Neck Crick Guy)”
LOL, Chris. Thanks for brightening my dismal rainy Friday.
.-= JenreÂ´s last blog ..Review: Finding Utopia by KZ Snow =-.
Poor guy, perhaps he has chronic neck pains, lol, the cover sure loosk painful enough 😉
.-= blodeueddÂ´s last blog ..Review: Mr and Mrs Fitzwilliam Darcy – Sharon Lathan =-.
Poor dude! The blond and pasty skinned version of him was bad enough, but the last one? You’re scarring Mayhem with all this!
Chris- Is Mayhem holding her breath? NCG is scaring her!
.-= LorraineÂ´s last blog ..You Don’t Want To Know =-.
Isn’t Mayhem underage? Really, “exposing” an innocent, young feline to such racy stock photography. A crime. Truly. There ought to be a law…
.-= trekÂ´s last blog ..Baby, it’s cold inside =-.
As usual, love it 🙂 Have a great weekend!
Had to come back and look at that sword, ouch 😉
.-= blodeueddÂ´s last blog ..Guest Post Sharon Lathan + contest =-.
You must have a blast looking for book covers. Mayhem, at least your tongue is isn’t sticking out, too.
.-= margeneÂ´s last blog ..At the Moment =-.
Oh Mayhem, I know. It really is confusing. Boy Girl Boy Girl. Vampire Lost in the Woods Vampire. Stars Outer Space Stars. And weird saber…stuff.
Stick to being a kitty.
.-= BrigitteÂ´s last blog ..Well Hello There! =-.
Ok, about 25% of these covers look like the story could be about a heterosexual love.
.-= furiousballÂ´s last blog ..Oh, not that kind of boningâ€¦ =-.
Sorry, but the title “Holed Up” kinda grossed me out. The research for these posts must be grueling ;^)
.-= kmkatÂ´s last blog ..Eye candy Friday, sort of. =-.
You slay me…
Man, that photo is horrible, too! Scary!
.-= elspethÂ´s last blog ..Monster Hospital =-.
Now my neck is starting to hurt!!
Happy Friday – have a great weekend!
OMG! Poor NCG!! This was hilarious, and I’m sad to say, appears to be decomposing in the last cover. Things are not looking good!!!
.-= Carolyn CraneÂ´s last blog ..Great moments: Men of the Otherworld =-.
I feel like I need a heating pad on my neck after looking at this post! Yikes! Poor dude needs some serious chiropractic medicine.
I was chuckling along until I got to the vampire part…and then I was laughing heartily.
Neck crick guy looks a little, uh, furry in the last one. Are you sure that’s a vampire story and not a werewolf story? Maybe they got their monsters confused.
.-= Cheryl S.Â´s last blog ..Back to Bak-tus =-.
Wow. Some of those covers are pretty abyssmal (especially the extra hair). And the tattoo is such a silly piece of flash. The least NCG could do was show some creativity.
.-= Seanna LeaÂ´s last blog ..knit, knit, knit =-.
Low bow to you my dear… just for your patience at looking at all that freakiness…
You did give me a good laugh.. whats up with that last pic…
I am surprise Mayhem isn’t saying something like..
My eyes, My eyes!!!
Too funny. I wonder if NCG every surfs around the net and laughs when he sees himself with different hair and tattoos and all manner of body mods? Do you think he prefers the naked boy pictures or naked ladies? I am concerned for his missing skull in that one picture, mutant man.
kmkat: I did enjoy Holed Up as a book, but now you’ve forced my mind to slide into the gutter.
Oh my. Crazy! I wonder if NCG or Candy Cane Guy gets around more… though you did say you have more from Candy Cane Guy that you haven’t shown us yet.
So… do you actually read the books, or just look for the pictures on the covers? 🙂
.-= NicoleÂ´s last blog ..Readers and Piracy =-.
NO! It’s rare that I have read any of the books that I highlight. However, out of this batch, I have read two of the books (Holed Up and The Vampire Shrink). I have at least another post of Candy Cane Guy. At least.
That’s quite a collection! You think it’s him at the cover of Hershie’s Kiss?
And God, those vampire covers are awful!
But brilliant pic of Mayhem 🙂
.-= ErotRomReader JannaÂ´s last blog ..Todays Man Candy =-.
Makes it a little difficult for him to kiss straight on, don’tcha think? Of course if they’re coming at you from behind…not so much.
I wonder who makes these covers….they certainly aren’t “trained” in this are they…
Oh May! You look funny.
There is a book called Hershie’s Kisses – I think I’ll stick with the chocolate ones.
.-= mrspaoÂ´s last blog ..Big Cat-Little Cat Bonding =-.
Wow, I love your narrative in these. It’s a bit depressing that there are so few stock images of men to choose from. There are photos of women galore, but comparatively few men.
A photographer with a few hot male friends could make some decent money if she gave us new guy-images to play with.
I think the blond vamp hair on Vampire Shrink is really well done. The photo looks painterly as well as the hair, the background’s great…I like that whole cover!
I should’ve mentioned in the post, but The Vampire Shrink was “Patient Zero” for me. I read that book a year or so ago. When I saw the cover to Holed Up, I realized NCG was on both… and that ultimately led to the Misadventures in Stock Photography series.
OK, I was chuckling through the photos of NCG, then I burst out laughing at little Mayhem’s face!
You would’ve thought that one of his lovers would’ve taken him to a chiropractor by now.
.-= KrisÂ´s last blog ..dear book goodesses =-.
He is pretty.
And you must know, I cleaned up the icons from my desktop. It didn’t seem all that cluttered before you mentioned it!
Yeah, so the cover for Island Bois? Someone take that person’s access to the computer away – that layour makes me cringe!
I was however amused by the dildosaber on the cover of To Touch The Stars. Use the Force NCG! Er…perhaps I’ve gone too far, now… 😉
.-= EklectikaÂ´s last blog .. =-.
LOL! I’m not sure which is funnier May’s face or the adventures in stock photography. NCG is starting make my neck hurt! And the Island Bois cover makes my head hurt. 🙂
.-= SydneyÂ´s last blog ..Snow Days =-.
ROFL!! OMG, you are too funny Chris, and observant!!
Ah the wonders of photoshop and inventive use of Stock photos!! Yikes…
Mayhem – puurfect expression!
I hope you are having a great weekend.
.-= LeaÂ´s last blog .."Sleep No More", by Susan Crandall – Review =-.
You are too good at this LOL.
They need you in the art department of those publishing houses! Hopefully someone there is reading this and knows they’ve been caught!
.-= DebbyÂ´s last blog ..Pedal for Paws 2010! =-.
Wow. All those covers look similar. Who’d a thunk there was a ‘genre’ for cover art like that ? (I rarely look at cover art)
.-= CarolÂ´s last blog ..Candy =-.
you are an absolute hoot.
NCG is a good cure for today’s blahs. (and yes.. it’s still raining here)
Wow! The wonders of Photoshop, never stops to amaze me.
Great picture of Mayhem!
.-= Donna-FantasyDreamerÂ´s last blog ..Whatâ€™s Coming Up, News & Feeding the Need to Read(4) =-.